If someone told you there were foolproof ways to have an orgasm during sex, you’d wanna know, right?
As we know, reaching the Big O is not a guaranteed thing every single time you have sex — and that ladies fake it waaaaay more than they should.
But we shouldn’t settle for mediocre sex sessions, because ain’t nobody got time for that!
Increasing your chances of orgasmic success could come down to little things that will make a big difference. We asked Madison Missina, an Australian porn star and sexologist, to break it down.
CHANGE YOUR SHEETS
We all know how great it feels to slide into bed when it’s been made with a clean set of sheets, whether you’re in the mood for sexy time or not. It turns out something as simple as changing your sheets, which is “sensation-led,” could help you get off.
“This is as a result of the hormone oxytocin, which is responsible for making us want to express love, bond and mother,” explains Madison. “It also is responsible for making us want to be touched, with a rise in oxytocin having the ability to trigger an orgasm.”
“Changing your sheets before sex is just one way to increase your levels of oxytocin; other ways include having a relaxing bath, applying body lotions or baby powder, and treating yourself to a massage or facial. When you add these enhanced feelings of touch to being caressed, caressing yourself and using breath and hair pulling, you’re much more likely to experience orgasm during sex.”
LET YOUR IMAGINATION RUN WILD
Don’t underestimate the power of your mind when you’re doing the deed. “Your brain is the largest and most powerful sexual organ. Using your imagination when you’re having sex and exploring your sexual fantasies is vitally important when it comes to reaching climax and achieving the Big O,” says Madison.
If your imagination needs a nudge, Madison suggests watching porn or reading erotica.
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BREATHING
“We can increase arousal, relaxation and even bring on and heighten orgasm through using breath,” says Madison, who added that people often forget about this. “Long, deep breaths keep you relaxed and can relieve anxiety, a common inhibitor to arousal and climax. It’s also a great way to calm your thoughts, and be present in your body to be in touch with sensations.”
“When you feel you are close to orgasm, holding your breath slightly can heighten arousal, slightly delaying the orgasm which can lead to a stronger climax.”
WEAR UNDERWEAR WHEN USING YOUR VIBE
If your sex sessions involve a vibrating friend more than a human partner, that’s great, but Madison thinks women should scale back how much they use their vibrators, at least if it’s too often. “It’s important to understand that over-use of vibrators can cause clitoral desensitisation, which after long-term use can inhibit your ability to orgasm through other methods,” she says.
Luckily, there’s an easy solution to this problem, so you can still get it on (and get off) with your vibe: “A good way to mitigate this is to use your vibrator over a soft, cotton pair of underwear, which will create a clitoral barrier, while still allowing you to feel the sensations.”
READ YOUR CYCLE
“We’ve been taught for many years that our sexual peak naturally is when we are ovulating. While that’s the case for some women, for many, it’s when we are menstruating when we are at the peak of natural libido,” explains Madison.
Yes, this is advocating period sex. And there are added bonuses to orgasming while you’re menstruating. “Orgasms are proven to relieve cramps, shorten the life span of your period and can reduce the symptoms of PMS. As blood flow is a natural lubricant, this is the perfect opportunity to have bath or shower sex,” she says.